Well. It’s been a tough couple of months months. Both bad and good, but tough.
Moving in with a roommate can be hard. Even if you love them DEARLY, or they’re family, it’s just a fact that you’re going to have to change your routines, expectations, and just get used to having another body in your space. And anyone who knows me knows I don’t do well with change. But that’s why it’s important for me to learn to grow and change and be flexible. Not only is it important for the people around me, but it’s important for ME. If I can be a more adaptive person, that means there will be less stress and anxiety in my life. I can rolls with the punches, go with the flow, and whatnot. I can be happier! But it can be a process getting to that place…
Also, we still have TONS of moving clutter. Like, I don’t want to let anyone else in our room, because I’m embarrassed! I completely lack the motivation to clean when I get home from work (48 hours a week, blah), especially if I’ve walked home, or if I want to spend some time cooking a nice, healthy meal. And when I do have motivation, I feel an obligation to keep the communal area clean before our room.
The other thing that’s been tough have been the diet changes that I’ve started. In January I went vegan and alcohol-free for a month. There were exceptions made, like when my in-laws came and we went to my husband’s restaurant- I was NOT about to miss out on those cocktails or that cheese and charcuterie plate. No. Sir. This experiment was not about denying myself things, it was about trying to change my eating focus. About becoming healthier. And I felt great! I was making an effort to exercise more and I was losing weight! But I also felt stressed at times: like when I would have to spend hours cooking after my hour-and-change- walk home from work, or when my husband would make chicken for his dinner and tofu for mine. I wanted some of that damn chicken!!
But wait, pause, before I continue, I am super proud of some of the dishes I made…
Vegan Chili, with vegan sour cream, also from the wonderful Angela from Oh She Glows.
Obviously if I do this for any longer, I’m going to have to invest in a nicer camera…
So when the month was up, I told myself I was going to keep eating more plant-based… but I back-slid real hard, guys. Eggs every morning, wings, meat tacos, pizza, cheese out the wazoo, and wine, of course. I’ve gained back the weight I lost, I feel bloated, and I’m not getting enough sleep. Plus, I’m having skin/allergy issues. I’m not sure if that’s related to the food I eat, but overall I’m not feeling my greatest.
Honestly, guys, I’m having a hard time finding a medium ground. I want to crack down on myself so that I can look and feel my best, but I also don’t want to feel guilty if I want to come home and am too tired to do anything other than chips and salsa and hummus for dinner (yep, last night). So that’s my next step: finding my balance. I’m thinking that I’ll keep my own died mostly plant-based. When my husband makes meat for dinner, maybe I’ll ask him to make the rest of the meal vegan. I’ll have an egg once in a while, but maybe try not to have them every morning. Ease into the plant-based lifestyle, instead of jumping right in. We’re going to look into investing in a Vitamix, so that my husband can have his chef-grade equipment, and I can have the ability to make easier plant-based meals (read: SMOOTHIES ALL DAMN DAY). I need to take time to meal plan, or make like three meals in one day, so that a quick and easy leftover meal is an option when I get home from work. And as far as exercise goes, I gotta start small. When I make myself exercise everyday, I always fall off the wagon. My husband and I have vowed to do yoga together twice a week. And I think I’ll aim for the elliptical once a week to start- that way it will be easy to do better and better. And maybe I can just spend 5-10 minutes cleaning EVERY day. That’s not too hard, right?
I CAN do this.
I can DO THIS.
I can do this.